Green Onions in the Cottage Cheese

If you haven’t read the story “Weak Stomach” then you need to read before reading this one.

Growing up we always had cottage cheese in our refrigerator. We ate cottage cheese with almost every meal. To this day I love good cottage cheese but I can longer have dairy products. As an added treat my mom or dad would add chopped green onions to the cottage cheese. To this day I have never seen anyone else add green onions to their cottage cheese, it is really quite good.  

This story would have taken place in the early 1960’s. My parents were living in Janesville, WS. They owned a Plymouth station wagon; I understand it was an entry level vehicle with vinyl interior. The family included my mom and dad, my siblings and a dog, a German shepherd I think but I’m not sure. I had not been born at his point in time.

It is winter in Wisconsin and the family would be heading out. Pop had just eaten cottage cheese with green onions a few minutes before the whole family including the dog loaded up in the Plymouth. Station wagon flying down the road, heater blasting away, five kids and a dog in zero gravity all combine for impending disaster.

It didn’t take long for the kids to get the dog acting up. My mom said she noticed a few dog hairs floating around the vehicle. She said she watched in horror as my dad inhaled one of the dog hairs.  That was all it took for the cottage cheese and green onions to make it back up!  Violently my dad vomited onto the windshield and down into the defroster vents. The trip was over.

To clean the vehicle my dad used the garden hose. He sprayed out what he could but in the process soaked the interior of the vehicle. My mom said the vehicle was never the same. The horn on the car would just off for no reason and usually during the late hours of the night. Pop would have to get up and disconnect the battery. They traded the vehicle shortly after that.