1. The phrase “Have your cake and eat it!” When I hear someone say this I almost want to tell them to screw off!!! I own a bakery so of course you can have your cake and eat it too. What good is the cake if you can’t eat it?
2. Invasion of my personal space. Hey, we don’t have to get that close to each other to talk do we? Seriously, please keep a little distance between you and me!
3. The chain e-mails, pass them on or else! Or else what? Really? I want to experience the “or else” just one time.
4. Kroger’s gas stations. I hate buying anything at Kroger’s gas stations. The clerk is behind a mile of bullet proof glass and the only way to pay is to pass your money through the little drawer. If you buy something that is outside the clerk tries to scan it through the window which never works. Also, they have a little metal mesh basket that they put your change in. I swear I feel like a criminal when I stop at this station. I really hate them.
5. My I-pod is half full and will never be completely full. It is like a reminder that I can’t find enough music to fill it up. Is it because I can’t decide or am I too lazy to add anymore music? I don’t know what it is but every time I look at it I only see half full!
6. New born baby photos. Okay, somebody has to say it so it might as well be me. Every new born picture I see is the same. The baby has a little sticking cap on. Always with no expression on their face. Their hands clinched into a fist around their heads. The only thing different is that some babies have their eyes opened and others don’t but the photos all look the same.
7. Our vendors who slap fuel surcharges on their bills. Look, I can’t slap a fuel surcharge on the price of a cup of coffee. If you can’t figure out a way to charge based on your actual expenses then just give up! You don’t need to be in business if you can’t plan for the fluctuations in the commodity prices. I deal with so should you!
8. Clowns. I’m 44 years old and still think clowns are a little creepy. I never thought clowns were funny. Never have I said “awe, look a clown.” Clowns just aren’t right. I understand why some people have a phobia of clowns.
9. The question: “Did you watch the game last night?” No, I did not and probably never will. Pro football, nope not a fan. Pro basketball…not no, but hell no. Baseball; maybe watched one inning but probably didn’t see one second of the game. I work on average 12 hours a day, do you think I’m going to take three hours out of my day to watch any type of sporting event?
10. Civil War Reenactors. Look, if you do this then more power to you but I just don’t get it.
11. The Gold Buyers International commercials. Look, if you are a local business person and you advertise on TV do us all a favor and keep your family out of your commercials! I really don’t understand why a local business owner has to verbally vomit on the viewing public in a poorly produced commercial then drag his kids or grand children into the commercial at the end.
12. My minvan. I would rather be poked in the eyes with a fork then drive the minivan. I just hate it!
13. I have webbed toes. When I was a kid I thought it was cool, I thought I was Auqa Man. Now I hate them.
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